Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
