ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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