You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
