Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So vagazzling was a success
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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