Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
