U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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