There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize