Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
