that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
