you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you had me at cake vodka
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
