his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
