I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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