So drunk, too bad you don't want this
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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