Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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