its not stalking. its research.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
