just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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