like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
