we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
