Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
