she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
