Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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