I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
