Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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