Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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