There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
