He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
