we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
