I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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