sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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