the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The ass gains better be worth it
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