We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
