Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm like, not good at living.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
