you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
