We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
