I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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