After last night, I could never be a politician.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
