windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
