u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
