We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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