dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
