i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
