I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
