just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
