I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
