drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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