I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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