I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize