He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
