it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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