That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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