Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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