the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
