Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
