At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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