Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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