Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
