I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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