Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
how drunk are you?
Several
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
