Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
