i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
