Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
