I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
