i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just cropdusted the office
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
