i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
