if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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