sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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