your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
